Is Once a WeekToo Much?

After 25 years of marriage our sex life is not bad, but my husband believes he is "entitled" to sex at least once a week. Sometimes even that feels like too much for me, and I don't like to be "pressured" into having sex if I don't feel like it. We are in our 60s. Is there a normal, or average, amount of sex for people our age? What is the appropriate response when one partner wants sex once a week and one doesn't?

I am often asked the question as to what in the normal or average frequency for a couple to engage in sexual activity. The answer is simply that normal or average is not a relevant question when it comes to frequency. What is relevant is whether the sexual connection meets the needs of both parties involved and how the couple negotiates on how that need will be met. Too many couples think about frequency of sex as though there were an absolute standard. And when they think of sex they only think of sexual intercourse. Sexual intimacy is more than just intercourse. In involves an entire array of experiences shared between two parties. Perhaps if you and your husband viewed your sex life as an opportunity to connect with one another, to be romantic with one another, to get to truly know one another emotionally as well as physically, it might not feel so obligatory and "pressured" as you have described it. When was the last time the two of you took a bath together with candlelight and music? How long has been since your gave one another a full body massage with fragrent body lotion and soft music playing? Have you ever made picnic on the bedroom floor with a bottle of wine and your favorite delicasies? These are all part of a sexual relationship and you might enjoy them more than once a week and so might your husband. Being 60 years old has nothing to do with knowing how to make love; and making love is more than merely having intercourse.