Desperate Mother

I am 38 year old mother of four school age children. I am working two jobs and have been in a relationship for two years with a man with who has two teenagers. His children don't like me and my children are not wild about him. We have fallen in love; or I think it is love. A month ago he got drunk and proposed. I said "someday" even though my gut said no. I am now trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship. I don't think we are compatible. My children say he is not the one and deep down I know it too. I don't want to hurt him. I owe him a lot, mostly financially. I have never been alone. I am afraid of letting go of something that maybe God wants me to have and I don't know it. I am very ill now trying to figure this out. HELP?!

You life is quite busy, even somewhat overwhelming. Being a mother of four and holding down not one, but two jobs has got to daunting. I can understand your wanting a partner, both as a psychological support and from a financial perspective. The big question is whether this is the right relationship for you. Your gut is telling you that this relationship is not for you. Your children say the same thing as your gut. Your brain agrees with both your gut and your children. Three votes against. Even his children seem to believe that this relationship is not right. Yet you are still ambivalent, even trying to figure out whether God has the time to intervene in your life and has ordained this relationship. Not likely. He gave human beings free will and the ability to choose. The real question is whether you have the courage to make the decision that you know is correct for you and whether you will be able to deal with knowing that you may have hurt him. This pain will pass in a while for both of you. The pain of being in a relationship that is not fulfilling, however, will continue to grow. As the song says, "you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, and know when to walk away..."