PSYCHOLOGICALLY SPEAKING

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus, a clinical psychologist, relationship counselor, sex therapist, and life coach, posts articles and information regarding a variety of psychological issues confronting people every day. In addition, he responds to questions about relationships, sexual difficulties, and other concerns that have been submitted through his website.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Santa Monica, California, United States

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Upgrading Operating Systems: A Psychological Metaphor

As I have been going through the frustrations of upgrading my computer from Windows XP to Windows 7 I began to think about why I am doing this.  I should have left well-enough alone following the adage, "if it ain't broke, why fix it."  Then I realized that I am one of those folks who embrace change.  As frustrating and even painful as change can be, the challenges and growth from change can also be exhilarating.

Some people resist change.  They function in the world perfectly fine as long as everything fits into their existing world view.  They don't like new fangled technology or new fangled ideas.  It is only when forced to change that they even consider modifying a position and then only under duress.  When it comes to computers, they would still be using Windows 95 if they could get their programs to work.

Layman's Introduction to Computers
For those of you who are not familiar with computer lingo, let me introduce you to the phrase "operating system".  The operating system or OS on a computer is the platform from which all of the programs that are installed on the computer function.  These programs are installed within the operating system and are used to manipulate data, e.g., to run spreadsheets or create documents.  The data put into a computer does not change; however, they way it is manipulated may change depending on the program and/or operating system handles data.

Each computer comes with a motherboard that is the brain of the computer.  It is the hard-wiring.  The OS is installed after the computer is built.  It is the information processing platform for the computer and directs all of the subsequent programs that are installed on the computer how to manipulate the data that comes into the computer.  All programs must conform to the operating system.  Patches and utilities help the OS to do its job more effectively. 

I began to think that this is similar to how we as human beings function. Human beings also have a motherboard comprised of genetics, DNA, predispositions and temperament.  These are hardwired.  Parents then install the operating system.  The OS provides the basic information needed for organizing behavior and for interpreting the data received from the world around them.

Early Childhood Programming
As children we receive information from the world around us.  We have experiences; receive knowledge, experiment, etc.  This becomes our data.  As children we have limited capacity to interpret data simply because our brains have not yet developed.  We often may misinterpret information.  We become needlessly frightened of bogey men that we have never seen, don't know enough to stay away from the flame, and will run headlong into traffic unless stopped.  Parents try to teach us how to interpret the world.  They offer us certain principles for understanding, teach us values, and often given us their world view in terms of beliefs and prejudices.  Together these principles, beliefs, morals and values combine to become our operating system.  We develop "programs" for understanding various aspects of life.  We learn what things can hurt us, what things taste good, what behaviors are acceptable, and so forth.  With this operating system and the various programs that are installed within the system, we are able to function in the world.

By the time we reach adolescence, this operating system becomes relatively fixed.  However, as we mature we make some modifications in the operating system.  These modifications or patches are added to our operating system to help us better understand our world and to more accurately interpret the data we receive through experience and education.  However, the basic operating system (our core beliefs, values, morals, principles) may not change.  We merely learn to work around the operating system in order to be more able to communicate and interact with the world around us.  We tend to interpret the world through our operating system, seeking confirmation of what we already believe.  We have all noticed how some people seem to be saying, "I have my beliefs, don't confuse me with the facts."  These folks have an operating system with very few patches and a limited number of programs with which they function in the world.  I had a brother-in-law who would say, "In this house it will always be 1959."  Obviously, he did not embrace change.

Resistance to Change
In my practice as a psychologist, I have noticed that many people enter psychotherapy with the attitude, "I will let you help me as long as I don't have to change."  Change is difficult: or put another way, it is simple but not always easy. As I mentioned above, as children we begin to develop an operating system.  By the time we reach our 20s this operating system has congealed and it become the foundation for our modus operandi in the world.  We develop attitudes and beliefs about ourselves, women, men, relationships, religion, work, and so on.  We develop ways of coping with stress, perceptions of our parents, and a host of adaptive behaviors.  For the most part these beliefs, adaptations, attitudes, and behaviors work well for us....until they don't.  When all of the fixes we have tried falter, some of us seek professional help in the form of psychotherapy, counseling, or coaching.

For the most part, these helpers or healers assist us to develop better ways of coping.  We learn new behaviors and new coping skills.  We learn to understand ourselves better.  However, just as often fundamental change eludes us.  These techniques serve much as utility programs, patches, and other add-ons help us with our computers making the operating system that was installed on the machine function better.  The operating system remains fundamentally unchanged.

At some point in our lives, all computers will need to be upgraded.  They will need a new operating system in order to manage in the ever-increasing amount of information and data that we will need to process.  The world is in constant flux and there is more information available to us now than ever before in history.  Computers and their operating systems are designed to help us process this information more quickly and efficiently.  Merely patching new add-on programs onto the old system is insufficient and inefficient.  It is time to upgrade.

Upgrading Our Internal Operating System
Similarly, it is often necessary to upgrade our internal operating system.  The way in which we processed information as adolescents no longer works to our advantage when we are in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and so on.  After all, how many of us in our 30s would listen to a teenager tell us how we should live our lives.  Yet that is exactly what many people do.  They use an old operating system, based on antiquated ideas and values, to make assessments of the world today.  They rigidly hold onto the safety of the familiar even when it has out-lived its usefulness. Over the years, people make corrections, changes, but they seldom undertake the installation of a new operating system.

This would entail a complete re-evaluation of assumptions, beliefs, values, and behaviors, often as dramatic as that which was required of our ancestors when realizing that the sun did not rotate around the earth or that the earth was round rather than flat.  That is, it would require a complete overhaul of one's world view.  Of course, this does not require that everything that one believes would be thrown out.  Just as with a computer, old programs may still function quite well in a new operating system.  But many will not.

It would be similar to deciding to re-decorate a home using a new theme.  Instead of being based, for example, on an Early American theme, the new decor might reflect a predominantly contemporary theme.  Nonetheless, some of the old pieces of furniture and furnishings may fit quite well within the new theme.  But there must be at least the willingness to consider disposing of each piece in order to determine whether or not it would fit in the new theme.  Likewise, on the human level, it would be necessary to be willing to examine all of the old beliefs to determine whether it fits the new paradigm.

Perhaps it is time for all of us to re-examine our operating system.  We live in very different world today than it was fifty years ago.  We have witnessed wars, watched stock market rise and then collapse, and seen the World Trade Center under siege.  We have more information today than ever before.  We have more medical information, treatment for disease and addiction, deeper psychological understanding, and more effective ways of living our lives.  We have seen our country move from being the automobile and manufacturing center of the world, to being more of services provider and financial capital.  Things today are different.  So we have to change as well.  At one time the most important thing for a man to do was to have a job in order to provide for his family.  It was believed that if he worked for 30-40 years on the job, his future would be secured; we found that is not necessarily the case.  It was believed that a family consisted of a man, a woman, two kids, and a dog.  Now we know that a family and marriage can be between same-sexed people, people of different races, and that children can be birthed through surrogates and embryos implanted in vitro.  The world is different.  Perhaps a new operating would help understand our world and ourselves more effectively, realistically, and efficiently.

5 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Interesting analogy and I would certainly agree with your call for a general perception that our worldviews need continual upgrades.

That said, I get the sense that many people are deeply-ingrained authoritarian personality types, or who otherwise hold "resistance to change" as a definitive personal value. And so much so that they could not be logically nor emotionally convinced of the ultimate value of thinking differently.

Dr Dreyfus, do you believe that such fundamental values, on which our own personalities have been constructed, can be altered through logic and will? I am skeptical, particularly in the absence of some major external factor that introduces significant cognitive dissonance to carrying on as usual.

11:55 PM  
Blogger DocDreyfus said...

Interesting question. I recently re-read a classic by psychiatrist-psychoanalyst Victor Frankl, MD, entitled MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING. Dr. Frankl is the founder of a school of psychotherapy called Logotherapy based on his experiences as a prisoner at Auschwitz during WWII. He believes that we can make meaning in our world and in so doing our personality changes. Similarly, Dr. Alan Wheeler, another psychiatrist-psychoanalyst, in his marvelous little book entitled HOW DO WE CHANGE speaks to the issue of fundamental change through an exercise of will and determination. It seems to me that people can achieve fundamental change through self-understanding, change in our thinking, change in our behavior; over time, these new patterns evolve into fundamental personality change: as we think, so shall we become. As you suggest, most people unfortunately need an external catalyst in the form of trauma or existential crisis to begin the process of change; something like "necessity breeds invention." That being said, however, for those willing to undertake the journey in the absence of some cataclysmic event,change is possible.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous Paul B said...

Paul B Part One
Coincidentally, I am also toying with the idea of upgrading a newly purchased HP Vista Pavilion to Windows 7. Since my purchase was so recent, I am entitled to a free upgrade and have received the required CD. Incidentally, I have not had any of the problems that have been associated with Vista.

Windows has cautioned me that I may experience a computer malfunction during installation and should be sure that I have created recovery discs in the event I need to restore the computer to its original factory settings. I have also been instructed to create back up discs should I crash. And that's not all. It was also strongly suggested that I obtain a Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor Report to determine compatibility, and there are a number of incompatible programs raising red flags to a safe installation.

I have taken a video tour of Windows 7 and I must say that I like many of the new features, but I do not wish to spend my time talking to India trying to resolve many of the anticipated problems. Ergo, for the time being, I am taking the "if it ain't broke, why fix it." route.

OK, enough with the metaphors. I am one who does not resist change although I may get an "R U Kidding Me" from a dear friend in Pacific Palisades who will recall, I'm sure, how long it took for me to give up my Royal Typewriter in favor of a Compaq Presario and finally enter the 21st Century.

My "operating system" has undergone significant changes, some to me by circumstance, some by me as a conscious choice. I had to be rewired from a care free college student to a responsible husband, wage owner, and father. After making the adjustment to married life, came divorce,something that happens to others, but not to moi. I opted for therapy to deal with the painful grief process.

I had to be rewired again when I lost two jobs, one because the firm moved to Texas, the second because the business went bankrupt. Being unemployed for two long periods with a family to support played havoc with my self esteem and I soon learned that unemployment was a family disease.

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Paul B said...

Paul B Part Two
Change involves risk and I entered that awful arena called the singles scene. And then another risk. Having been hurt by divorce, do I dare trust getting involved in another relationship. I believe in making life happen. Playing it safe lends itself to a dull existence.I took that risk and was fortunate enough to be able to buy another home and a woman and her two daughters moved in and I now had to undergo another change, living as a step family which also required counseling. But it didn't end there. One of the daughters was seriously ill suffering from a manic depressive illness, suicide attempts, and hospitalizations. Once again, we sought therapy. That relationship ended and there were several more, including a second horrific marriage and divorce before I finally got it right the third time around.

But that third marriage required me to make a decision to risk. Based upon my track record, I was fearful and had to walk through that fear or lose what turned out to be a blessing.I learned how to love another and put her first. Hold that thought. Until Barbara entered my life, my house was in need of repair and refurnishing. I was an extremely territorial person and it took a tremendous effort to adjust my "operating system"and allow her to transform our house into a loving home my children did not recognize when they visited us as a married couple for the first time.It was a culture shock.

Perhaps my greatest challenge to change occurred soon to be 39 years ago when I entered a recovery program.I had to change and undergo a complete transformation or a relapse would be inevitable.The twelve step program helped me get in touch with my shortcomings. After all, how can one change behavior unless they are aware of a behavior that needs attention? Remember how I put my wife first? Well, another rewiring. Without sobriety, there will be no wife. My recovery must come first, my wife second, and fortunately she understands and has no problem with that concept.

I am 73 years old and continue to take risks and continue to effect change I cannot effect change in others, but when I change, the reaction to me by others changes.

But as far as a Windows 7 Upgrade.......................

Paul R.Burns

9:36 AM  
Blogger Evan Marc Katz said...

Well said, Dr. D. I guess the question is to what capacity people CAN change and modify their deep-seated beliefs when they're no longer working?

3:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home